Mutlu yıllar, Happy New Year: wish wish wishh, hohh hohh hoo!! ;)

Değerli sevdiklerim, 

Herkese çok mutlu ve keyifli bir yıl diliyorum.
“Bir, ayaklarınızın altına değil, yıldızlara bakmayı unutmayın.
İki, çalışmayı asla bırakmayın. Çalışmak size bir anlam ve amaç verir, bunlarsız bir hayat boştur.
Üç, eğer aşkı bulacak kadar şanslıysanız, onun da olduğunu hatırlayın ve başınızdan atmayın.” 😊🍀

All My Lovely Friends, 

I wish you a merry, peacefull, healty and successful New Year. 

May you never be too grown up to search the skies🤗 

Keep the spirit Of the holiday season In your heart
All year long..😊🍀

How values are so important?

Hellooo,

Woww!! What a year it was!! 2018 blew me away with all I learned this year. I have so many resolutions for 2019 and one of them is activating my blog.

I will blogging for bliss and make it my online journal in 2019, I will try to write more often without preparation or thinking a lotJ

Before the year end I want to share you my last Toastmasters speech text, this is the reason I am writing today and in this connection I would like to share another 2019 resolution is that I will continue improving my public speaking skills in English. Plus, continue meeting new positive and creative peopleJ

I am so glad to be a part of the big Toastmasters family, it was one of the best of 2018. At the beginning I had no idea where this first step can bring me, I mean I had never thought it would become one of my favorite hobbies. At first I was used to complain with my creeping speed of journey as I am kind of impatient very inquisitive monkey, asking a lot, running after for every opportunities... Later I learned more to focus on enjoying the process. From time to time I encouraged by friends in this community, sometimes I fell apart several pieces by my lovely mentor Magda, I need time for show offJ.

Come on Yesoo!!, it has been one year, it is just beginning. In toastmasters family I have several lovely eye-opening friends, I don’t want to mention any names in case I miss one of them, I thank you all to be part of my journey.   

Here we go!!:)

Speech Title: How values are so important?
Path Name: Persuasive Influence 
Level 1: Mastering Fundamentals
Project 3: Researching and Presentation

How values are so important?

Can anyone tell me how much value would you pay for this?

For me it represents freedom, it represents memories.. Value based water-bowl! I bought it in London in 2010 and kept it with me all my trip. When I was living, I was stopped in the airport due to the fact I left some water in it. After couple of endeavors as seen I successfully brought it. For me it is also represents success. My values maybe different with yours…

What is value by the way? Is it Price? Usefulness? Emotional drive? Is it Benefit? Behaviours?

Dear Toastmasters and Guests this evening I will talking about Amazon’ s ‘’ customer obsession’’ value. I want to test this value from the founder, employees and customers point of views. At the same time, I want to give you something more general that you can bring home. Please keep in mind that it is not all about business, it is not all about values, it is all about life, it is all about communication and relationships.

Lets start with Amazon founder Jeff Bezos explains in Business Insider Magazine that how he drives a passion for customer obsession with his senior leadership teams.

Jeff Bezos personally reads every customer complaint email sent to him, he forward the email directly to the leader accountable for that area with a simple “question mark”. Leaders know they are then on the hook.

You may have noticed here is not suffer for attention and communication is not simply sending out one-character emails.

"We have tons of metrics," Bezos explains. So those customer complaints gives him insights. If all his data says one thing and a few customers say something else, he believes the customers.

Obsessive customer centric approach can give many advantages to any company. But!.. what about the employees, is he also employee centric?

Amazon employees!!

I found lots of details in The New York Times resource article. At Amazon employees are encouraged to be on their toes and encouraged to attack each other in meetings and this named ‘’ creative challenge’’, emails arrive past midnight, followed by text messages asking why they were not answered. The internal phone directory instructs colleagues on how to send secret feedback, employees crying at their desks, suffering from incredible stress, struggling to keep up with intense pace of Amazon while big brother Bezos continuously monitoring them.

They are expected to give their heart and soul to Amazon to make the company ‘’ Earth’s most customer centric company’’!

On the other hand, we cannot deny the truth of Amazon, offering incredible opportunities and incredible compensations. However, you cannot find mutually respected relationships or commitment. They train their employees to be so combative as if they will run for rat race. And result of today’s capitalism is that employees are living them without looking back!  

Amazon customers!! 

Glamour and envy!

I read English daily news recently Amazon is accused of ruining children's Christmas 'surprises' arriving with their manufacturers' original boxes with a shipping sticker on it. This company, which has been criticized for over-packaging in the past! It is difficult to satisfy the customers. But! this organization has complex tactics, strategies and services.

One of their customer obsessive service I read is drone delivery service to deliver packages to customers in 30 minutes or less. This company has been chosen America’s most trusted company according to a survey conducted by technology daily The Verge.

And now, Can you please tell me what is wrong in this picture? 

They came back with tools, terms and better services, but they do not came back with passion, sense of fulfillment and commitment to its employees.

Big brother hugely investing on to be ‘’ Earth’s most customer centric company’’, all to make its customers happy, and What stops him from creating the best workplace on Earth?

Any organization power by people can care, can make better place to work, better place to buy things, it is just a place! I mean it is not people above the profit, It is about people and profit in a harmony.

Remember my value-based pink water-bowl, it creates happiness. It is about touching lifes of employees. It is how values are so important!.

To read more please  refer these articles:

JODI KANTOR and DAVID STREITFELD, Inside Amazon: Wrestling Big Ideas in a Bruising Workplace, AUG. 15, 2015, The New York Times resource article, https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/16/technology/inside-amazon-wrestling-big-ideas-in-a-bruising-workplace.html

JUKIE BORT, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos explains his famous one-character emails, known to strike fear in managers' hearts, APRIL,22, 2018, Business Insider, https://www.businessinsider.com/bezos-explains-his-dreaded-one-character-emails-2018-4?IR=T

HellooooJ

Another online meeting just finished. Below is my speech text. Yes this is the’’ aha’’ moment, I am still on the subject of assertiveness, big smileJ, but now with more power,

at list I started to give examples. I used acrobats as a methaphor and make connection with communication. Little step for World, big step for Yeşim, haha.

This time it was ok on the text, not enough time for rehersal. Next challanges are more clarity!! and more engagement!!

Midnight lady is going to sleep now! ZZZzzzzZZZzz! 😊
Listen!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oxsW7QYNyZw&feature=share

Enjoy reading!! ;)

Speech Title: ASSERTIVE ACROBATS 
Path Name: Persuasive Influence 
Level 1: Mastering Fundamentals
Project 2: Evaluation and Feedback

ASSERTIVE ACROBATS

Why assertive acrobats? Because acrobats are amazing. Most people watch acrobats and say ‘’ Woooow!’’.  Look at them! They perform miracle maneuvers in the air. Did you ever wish you could perform a miracle in everyday life?

Dear Toastmasters and Guest, join me in flexing your muscles, balance and landing on your feet.

Our first trick is the handstand. The handstand require the skill sets of 1. kickoff and 2. Freestanding balance. Ooooh you are scared? Don’t worry, the acrobatics I am talking about is about communication.

A long, long time when I started working, I shared my hopes and dreams and problems at coffee breaks or in the elevator.  All rushed! Later I learned if I have a problem with a person or an issue I will ask for a 1 on 1 meeting. This is kickoff meeting. It made me more strong and smart, it also gave me an opportunity to showcase my talents and skills and that I am serious about my job.

At first when talking, I looked so emotional. However, learn freestanding balance skill.  It is like a coin with 2 sides. On the one side, I express my needs of not being stressed and overburdened at work. On the other side, I want to be a team player. I can clearly express the issues on both sides of the coin. It is like flipping a coin in the air and it lands on the outside rim. It is a miracle that is happening midair. It takes control. We can all learn the hack standing trick.

Our next trick is the Backflip juu-ump!  This is the basic blueprint for all acrobats. The skill sets to learn are: 1.timing, 2. fear conquering, 3. jumping technique.

Timing… you all know what this is about. There is a right time for everything.

Conquering our fear. Today I know that I am very well rounded and experienced person in my field. In the past I was bullied by my former manager and I was running away from confronting her. Then I exercised my vocal cord musles. Now I can say ‘’ NO’’, No is a whole sentence without excessive explanation. Try it, conquer your fear and then tackle your technique...

My technique is to be clear and direct in my communication. For example my family wants me to get married, they are pushing me, they are saying like ‘’ time is flying, we want to see you with babies… etc.’’. I will know when it is the right time for me and at that time I jump strait to the point!

I exercise my assertive muscles. What muscles will you develop? Let’s talk about landing on your feet…

Last Sunday I my boyfriend and I agrued. I had a very bad shoulder ache and we went to hospital, I got injection and we were checking for the open pharmacy. I saw the map of the nearest open pharmacy on the hospital’ notice board, and we went to the car, he were looking by navigator and we were in the middle of the road where is unsafe for waiting. I gave him directions and I was irritated...‘’ go this way, go that way, I said’’.

He exploded. I did not talk much for a while. Then I heard my voice saying‘’ it is important to see someone’ behaviours in difficult situations and you should have been controlled your anger. Communicating like this can diminish the value of the relationship’’. I clearly stated my point. Then he agreed with me as I was calm and assertive. That is how we land on our feet.

To conclude: Learn to do your own communication acrobatics as I learn to do mine. Changing any skill is difficult and and we can be patient with our progress. I know, with practice we will all become more efficient. Use different tricks and exercise your muscles, balance and landing on your feet.

Yeşim Yazıcı

09.08.2018

Toastmasters: My Second Speech: Assertiveness

Last week today I did my second speech at toastmasters, the speech was on assertiveness. I read the book on assertiveness more than 5 years ago and I felt that I need to refresh my memory, and then I chose this subject as a topicJ

Using outline, transitions, an effective speech entry and conclusion are what you need to deliver in your every speech. What make the second toastmasters speech project is different that you need to rethink your audiences, how you organize your ideas to promote understanding.

The speech took me more than 7 minutes I guess, but hopefully the timer were very graceful and said that it had been all qualified, so that I counted for best speaker candidates. Bad side of the coin is during the night I used 34 pause filler words such as ahh, uhh, umm, iiii .L I need to develop it and it is just beginning;).

Therefore I have not written so far, let’s refresh the blog with this opportunity, with my speech on assertiveness J

  

ASSERTIVENESS

Speech text

• Have you ever been a time when you held back by your self-confidence, struggle to ask for what you want it or felt taking disadvantage? We have all been there, and it was not feel so good.

• When you have been assertive you can calmly state your needs, what you will or will not accept, or how you want to be treated.

• You can handle critism without tears. You dont let a fear of conflict silence you and you are prepared to take consequences of communicating your feelings and wants.

• Being assertive means you dont feel you have to prove anything.

• When you are being assertive you are open to other people views even though they maybe different from your own. You dont try to dominate others.

• You have the confidence to make decisions and take responsibility for what you say and do. You dont blame other people when things dont go your way.

• It include knowing when you stand your ground and when to compromise and negotiate.

• Assertiveness sometimes confused with aggression, but 2 of them are vary different.

• Assertiveness is base on balance, it is means considering your rights, needs as well as those of other people.

• When you act assertively you can Show confidence, empathy and compassion.

• Aggression on the other hand is based on winning, it is often involve intimidation and provocation tactics. Win- lose situation, you win and others probably loss. 

• It is one way process, you say what you do and do not want but not listen to or take other people’ s needs and feelings into consideration. If you are aggressive you talk over and interrupt others.

• When you are being aggressive you may feel you have to prove things and push a point. If you feel you are being treated badly you react with anger and hostility.

• Rather than being honest and direct, aggressive communication often involves being rude, sarcastic and blaming.

• Aggression is about domination and invasion; it is fundamentally disrespectful of other people’ s personal boundaries.

• Many major social and political change has started with one person deciding to assert themselves.

• Rosa Parks decided to take a seat reserved only for White people, on a bus in Alabama.

• Gandi, Nelson Mandela who has stuck to the principle of assertive communication and behavior. They stood up for themselves and for others.

• Obama displayed again and again his calm assertiveness no matter the crises, he showed a good sense of balance.

• Mustafa Kemal Atatürk consistently showed his assertion and insistence to ensured Turkey a modern and secular republic, enabled Turkey to exist as a nation.

• The good news is that you can learn assertiveness just like any other skills. Start by realizing your rights, feelings, and needs are valid and important. Then practice expressing yourself. Say what you want and what you dont want.

• I will give you some hints tonight!

• Own your feelings. Use I statements like, I want, I need or I feel. Instead of you are making me angry, say I am feeling angry. Instead of you have been dishonest to me, say I feel deceived.

• Be clear and direct. Get strait to the point! For ex. Imagine Leo come through the room and behaving like ‘’ Who has been smoking?? Someone open a window. Uhh, the smell makes me feel sick. Go outside I thought you were going to give up!!’’. Even it is true, Leo likely ruin his relationship if he act like this. A better sentence would be ‘’ Please would you smoke in the bacony?’’. Easy, isnt it?

• Take your time. In American films and TV you often hear one character say to another ‘’ I am not sure, can I get back to you on that?!’’

• Change your verbs. Use verbs like ‘’ will’’ instead of could or should. ‘’ Want’’ instead of ‘’ need’’. ‘’ Choose to’’ instead of ‘’ have to’’. For ex. ‘’ I want to go to training course because it will help me to progress in my role and my career’’. For ex. ‘’ I choose this option because…’’

• Know your limits, set boundaries. If you are unclear about your limit so you have established weak boundaries, you will invite others to take advantage on you and take control of your choices.

• Saying ‘’ No’’ without excessive excuses and apologies. ‘’ No’’ is a sentence! OK!. If you give to many excuses, the meaning and value of your response starts to look weak and dishonest. It also gives the other person the opportunity to undermine your excuses.

• On assertiveness give yourself time and be patient with your progress. It likely wont happen overnight, but by practicing you will slowly built up confidence and you will likely find that you become more productive, efficient and respected.

• Being assertive means getting your priorities right and negotiating with other people rather than arguing. 

• It means an end to worrying about trivial things and those sleepless nights going over what you should have said.

• Being assertive means being authentic. Knowing who you are and what you beleive in.

• It simplifies life and enables you to focus on what is important.

• Tonight I light a candle. You have taken the first step towards a more self- assured life, keep going, and I promise, you will never look back. Good luck!